The Murderous Toy --- Mike Roberts
ttto The Marvelous Toy by Tom Paxton
When [A]I was just a [E]wee little lad my [A]Daddy brought to [E]me
A [D]toy he made down [A]at the lab; it [B7]filled me full of [E]glee.
A [A]wonder to be-[E]hold it was, with [A]many buttons [D]bright,
From the moment that I [A]turned it on it [E]filled us all with [A]fright.
It went [A] “Zap” when it fired and [E]cursed when it missed and [A]whirred as it took [D]aim,
It didn’t know if we were [A]friend or foe but at-[E]tacked us just the [A]same.
Well [A]curiosity [E]killed the cat, and the [A]dog was next to [E]go.
The [D]parrakeet beat a [A]fast retreat as the [B7]wall began to [E]glow.
The [A]turret turned, some [E]bullets fired, and the [A]TV was no [D]more,
My friends you should have [A]seen it as the [E]napalm hit the [A]floor.
It went [A] “Zap” when it fired and [E]cursed when it missed and [A]whirred as it took [D]aim,
It didn’t know if we were [A]friend or foe but at-[E]tacked us just the [A]same.
It [A]broke each window [E]down the hall, and [A]then I heard it [E]laugh,
I [D]must admit I [A]chuckled when it [B7]cut my brother in [E]half.
My [A]sister made it [E]to the stairs when it [A]caught her in the [D]pants,
My Daddy had the [A]shotgun out but he [E]didn’t stand a [A]chance.
It went [A] “Zap” when it fired and [E]cursed when it missed and [A]whirred as it took [D]aim,
It didn’t know if we were [A]friend or foe but at-[E]tacked us just the [A]same.
It [A]lobbed two mortars [E]at the wall and [A]when the smoke had [E]cleared,
I [D]looked around for my [A]murderous toy but [B7]it had disap- [E]peared.
Then I [A]saw it leave through [E]watery eyes, the [A]tear gas smelled so [D]sweet,
Things weren’t too good for the [A]neighbourhood as it [E]ambled down the [A]street.
It went [A] “Zap” when it fired and [E]cursed when it missed and [A]whirred as it took [D]aim,
It didn’t know if we were [A]friend or foe but at-[E]tacked us just the [A]same.
Well [A]that’s the last that I [E]ever saw of my [A]murderous little [E]toy,
It [D]might be dead but I [A]hope it’s not ‘cause it [B7]filled me full of [E]joy.
They [A]say it reached the [E]Bering Strait and [A]crossed the icy [D]floes.
The Russian army ain’t [A]killed it yet but it [E]keeps them on their [A]toes.
It went [A] “Zap” when it fired and [E]cursed when it missed and [A]whirred as it took [D]aim,
It didn’t know if we were [A]friend or foe but at-[E]tacked us just the [A]same.
Oh the [A]years have gone too [E]quickly now; I [A]have my own little [E]boy.
And [D]just last night I [A]told him about my [B7]murderous little [E]toy.
I [A]recognised his [E]crafty look; I could [A]almost read his [D]mind,
My son has grown up [A]like his dad and [E]wants one just like [A]mine.
It went [A] “Zap” when it fired and [E]cursed when it missed and [A]whirred as it took [D]aim,
It didn’t know if we were [A]friend or foe but at-[E]tacked us just the [A]same.