Bound for Argo --- ©2006 Mark a Mandel / ttto: “Banned From Argo”
When [A]we put into Argo Port to [D]sell our load of [A]goods
We heard that it was one of space’s [B7]tougher neighbour-[E7]hoods.
We [A]had some trepidation that we’d [D]meet hostili-[A]ty
But found them more than [D]welcoming to [E]merchants such as [A]we.
And we’re [D]bound for Argo once a-[A]gain
[D]They rate eleven, on a [A]scale of one-to-[E]ten.
We [A]sold them all we [D]had and could have [A]sold them ten times [D]more.
I [A]only wish that [E]we’d gone there be-[A]fore.
We’ve [A]aphrodisiacs for every [D]species you will [A]meet.
The greenish stuff has Vulcans going [B7]at it in the [E7]street.
For [A]Klingons it depends on if it’s [D]for a boy or [A]girl;
For him it’s books of [D]poetry, for [E]her it’s rocks to [A]hurl.
And we’re [D]bound for Argo once a-[A]gain
[D]They rate eleven, on a [A]scale of one-to-[E]ten.
We [A]sold them all we [D]had and could have [A]sold them ten times [D]more.
I [A]only wish that [E]we’d gone there be-[A]fore.
A [A]gang of Klingons stomped out of a [D]tavern mad as [A]Hell.
They seemed to be unhappy with the [B7]drinks and clien-[E7]tele.
The [A]customers were weird, they said; the [D]liquor weak and [A]pale.
They gladly paid us [D]full price for our [E]307 [A]Ale.
And we’re [D]bound for Argo once a-[A]gain
[D]They rate eleven, on a [A]scale of one-to-[E]ten.
We [A]sold them all we [D]had and could have [A]sold them ten times [D]more.
I [A]only wish that [E]we’d gone there be-[A]fore.
The [A]bars bought out our other stock of [D]every kind of [A]booze.
For theirs had all gone down the throats of [B7]thirsty starship [E7]crews.
Our [A]medicines flew out the door at [D]slightly less than [A]C.
For hangovers and [D]headaches, and [E]hickeys and V[A]D.
And we’re [D]bound for Argo once a-[A]gain
[D]They rate eleven, on a [A]scale of one-to-[E]ten.
We [A]sold them all we [D]had and could have [A]sold them ten times [D]more.
I [A]only wish that [E]we’d gone there be-[A]fore.
Our [A]roving fix-it personnel were [D]busier than [A]ants,
The cops broke up an orgy – then [B7]we sewed up the [E7]pants.
Some [A]moron parked a shuttlecraft on [D]top of City [A]Hall.
They paid us well to [D]get it down be-[E]fore the roof could [A]fall.
And we’re [D]bound for Argo once a-[A]gain
[D]They rate eleven, on a [A]scale of one-to-[E]ten.
We [A]sold them all we [D]had and could have [A]sold them ten times [D]more.
I [A]only wish that [E]we’d gone there be-[A]fore.
The [A]planetwide communication [D]network had been [A]screwed
So all incoming callers were ap-[B7]pearing in the [E7]nude.
Our [A]software team went through the system [D]with a fine-tooth [A]comb
And soon we’ll have a [D]version you can [E]buy to use at [A]home!
And we’re [D]bound for Argo once a-[A]gain
[D]They rate eleven, on a [A]scale of one-to-[E]ten.
We [A]sold them all we [D]had and could have [A]sold them ten times [D]more.
I [A]only wish that [E]we’d gone there be-[A]fore.
They [A]cleaned us out of dictionaries, [D]tourist books and [A]such;
Like how to swear in Vulcan, Standard, [B7]Romulan, and [E7]Dutch.
The [A]Governor’s request was strange, con-[D]sidered as a [A]whole,
For books on marriage [D]counseling, and [E]plant and crowd con-[A]trol.
And we’re [D]bound for Argo once a-[A]gain
[D]They rate eleven, on a [A]scale of one-to-[E]ten.
We [A]sold them all we [D]had and could have [A]sold them ten times [D]more.
I [A]only wish that [E]we’d gone there be-[A]fore.
We [A]just found out that Argo’s put that [D]starship under [A]ban.
You might think that upsets us but it [B7]doesn’t change our [E7]plan.
As [A]long as spacers come to town to [D]play and drink and [A]bleed
We’ll sell them what they [D]want – and then we’ll [E]sell them what they [A]need!
And we’re [D]bound for Argo once a-[A]gain
[D]They rate eleven, on a [A]scale of one-to-[E]ten.
We [A]sold them all we [D]had and could have [A]sold them ten times [D]more.
I [A]only wish that [E]we’d gone there be-[A]fore.